Life and Soul
by AtomicNoble
Summary: Will was the life and soul of the party. He always cheered people up. He made them laugh, feel good about themselves and always gave them a shoulder to cry on. but who was there for him?
1. Introduction

Will was the life and soul of the party. He always cheered people up. He made them laugh, feel good about themselves and always gave them a shoulder to cry on. but who was there for him? Nobody! Nobody made him feel good about himself and nobody ever gave him a shoulder to cry on. They all just assumed he was always happy.

Will was far from happy. He watched all his friends get on with their lives, whether it was marriage, babies, promotion or buying a house. Every time someone announced a new stage in their life, he felt a twang of jealousy. Why did he have to be the one by himself?

Then there was the issue with his family All his siblings were married, with kids or engaged. He was the only one without any of that. To top it all off, he was the only single one. Which infuriated him, because he was the oldest. Family events finished him off emotionally, they always ended with him hitting the bottle. Which only made his family judge him even more.

His sister's fiance, always made him feel small. Always taking his siblings out for drinks and completely leaving him out. He always had to be the better uncle to his nephew, showing him up at every single chance. Sure, he doesn't show him up on purpose but it still hurts.

Will felt like the family disappointment. He was pretty sure his parents thought the same. When it was announced that his last sibling was engaged, everyone looked at him like he was an idiot.

* * *

Will felt truly alone, the world around him seemed to be succeeding but he was ground to a halt. Unable to move, no matter how hard he tried.

The happy persona was a heavy thing to carry around. Everyday tired him out mentally. He used energy drinks to stay on top of things. He instantly became addicted to them because, with them, he felt human and without them, he couldn't function. Even with the almost overdose of caffeine everyday, he was still tired.

Hitting the clubs every night numbed his pain. Sleeping with random women made him feel wanted and getting drunk made him happy.

Smoking gave him something to do with his hands. Rolling a cigarette gave him an excuse not to look people in the eye and the smoking itself put unwanted people at

arm's length. The nicotine gave him the strength to carry on.

He'd spent so long running from his feelings. He thought travelling around the world would help, but it turned out to be a full circle back into emotional hell.

Will had always dreamed of going somewhere amazing and doing something worthwhile with his life. He felt stuck in a depressive rut, wanting things to change but never having the energy to get up and do it.

Will had never been a bitter person, but lately, he had been getting so angry over the littlest things. Just the other day, he screamed at, broke and threw a coathanger for not coming out of his wardrobe in one motion.

yet despite all that emotional pain and baggage, nobody noticed how unhappy he was...

* * *

**_I'm writing this based on my own feelings._**

**_May turn it into a multichapter. Depending on how well it's received. Thanks for reading. It means more than you'll ever know. _**


	2. Sins of the Father

**LOVE IT!:** _Sorry, it was short, I was mainly getting a feel for the story and seeing if people liked it. Well, they do. so, longer chapters! Thanks for your review x_

**Miss Whitney Bea:** Stay tuned x

**Guest:** _Thank you so much for your review! It means a lot. Glad you enjoyed it x_

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**_(To get a feel for this bit, listen to 'Daddy' by Coldplay. You won't regret it!)_**

Will had a complicated relationship with his father. Growing up he never left his side and looked up to him. As he grew older, the father-son bond vanished. When Will was a teenager they fought non-stop until it became impossible for him to trust him. It had now been over a decade since he last hugged him!

His dad worked a lot during his childhood. He always came home stressed and then left again to run the local cub-scout group. He appeared to spend more time with other people's kids than with his own. Will didn't notice at the time, but as he grew older it hit him like a tonne of bricks. Why did his dad want them and not him?

* * *

Daddy, are you out there?

_Daddy, won't you come and play?_

_Daddy, do you not care? Is there nothing that you want to say?_

* * *

Little things his dad would say, still get to him as an adult. '_Oh, you'll never eat all that' 'You'll never finish that' '__Stop being selfish'!_ — He was always afraid that his father would yell at him. No, he wasn't abusive, but the things he did, hurt mentally and always would.

When it was just them in the house, his dad would be all quiet and engrossed in his laptop or the TV. As soon as his other children arrived with their partners, he brightened and laughed with them. Ironically, he didn't allow Will to put the TV on when they were over.

Back on the _'sister's fiance fiasco'_ His father appeared to get on better with him and act differently whenever he was around. Like he deserved more love and attention than Will did.

Will could never tell his mother about how he felt because his mother would always back up her husband and make it seem like everything was Will's fault.

He tried to tell a school counsellor once, but they rang his dad and told him everything _(despite it being confidential!)_ His dad told them that nothing that Will said was true, basically branding him as a liar. Making him feel truly isolated, even in his own home.

* * *

Will began smoking at the age of 13, primarily to spite his parents _(because they hated everything to do with smoking)_

Soon he began to love how the nicotine made him feel, it gave him strength. Something that his parents could never ever give him. It became an expensive addiction, soon he'd be spending his pocket money every week on a new pouch of gold leaf tobacco. He hid it from them for so long, disposing of all evidence before he entered the house. Spraying himself with lynx to hide the smell and hiding the tobacco in a pocket he'd cut in his jacket.

It wasn't until he was 15 that they found out. By that time, all those cigarettes he was smoking were impacting his developing lungs and it showed. He caught a cold once and it took him 3 months to shake it off fully, something which should only take up to 2 weeks to shift.

Will was getting ready for school one morning when he noticed his tobacco tin was missing. He asked his dad where it was, hoping he thought it was 'Just a tin' as it was luckily empty — His dad went and got it, handing it to him without saying anything.

His dad asked 'Do you smoke?' bluntly after a few minutes of silence

Will couldn't lie to him, so admitted it straight away. His dad simply replied '_I'm very sad'_ before going silent and returning his focus on the TV. Ignoring whatever else Will had to say.

* * *

Will went to a school for emotionally challenged teenagers for a while. He met a member of staff who he connected with immediately, to the point of him becoming a second dad to him. With that staff member, he had someone to talk to, someone to vent to, someone to be there when his parents clearly weren't!

He gave Will a lighter before he _(unwillingly)_ left for college. That lighter hasn't left his side since. _(Despite it being out of gas)_. He looks at it when he's lonely or in deep emotional turmoil. Remembering what that staff member would advise him to do.

Will had never connected with anyone like that before and when it came time to leave. It devastated him, it took him years to recover. He still hasn't found anyone quite like that staff member to talk to, nobody will ever come close.

He stopped talking to people after that, he buried his feelings with cheap alcohol and women. He thought they didn't matter and that no one cared.

* * *

No matter how bad Will felt, he put a smile on his face and showed up to work like nothing was going on. Even though his head was a mess and full to the brim with emotional pain.

The only person who wasn't taken in by his happy go lucky act was Archie. She'd been through enough emotional pain herself to know when someone else was. She noticed how many energy drinks he had a day, his lack of food and the unhealthy amount of cigarettes he smoked.

At first, she thought it was just the fatigue of working almost 24hr shifts. Until she witnessed him break down, thinking no one was around. Archie initially blamed the 'breakdown' on the death of Mason, Yes, he found a junior doctor dead. but Archie wasn't buying it after seeing this reaction from him:

He'd thrown a mug at the wall, watching it shatter around him and the liquid left in the cup, run down the pristine white wall.

He broke down, sliding down the grey wall of lockers. Putting one hand over his mouth to silence himself, before descending into a crying fit. Picking at the pieces of the destroyed mug on the floor.

Will studied the shards of the ceramic cup._' Broken and unfixable '_ he thought to himself. Tossing the tiny piece in his hand away from him...

After realising how Will had been her emotional support during most of her dreadful times, she ran in _(almost slipping on pieces of the mug)_ and hugged him tightly. Which is something she didn't usually do.

Will sat in silence for a while, before whispering: _'Thank you...'_

He'd needed that hug more than he had ever needed anything in his life. but he still couldn't bring himself to tell Archie or anyone else how bad things were for him.

It was the overwhelming childhood fear of his dad finding out what he'd said and calling him a liar again taking over his need to vent.

Will was back to square one, sure he had a friend. but mentally? _He was still very much alone._

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**_Longer chapter for y'all! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you want to see more and thank you for all the reviews x_**


	3. Adolescent trauma

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews x**

**I will be touching on his lack of food soon, Im still giving him a back story at the moment. Which I hope you don't mind, it's to give a feel of why he's unhappy on the inside.**

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Will had a rough time in school. From when he started as a small child, to the moment he graduated from university.

He was subjected to emotional abuse, from both staff and students at his primary school. He learned a hard lesson from the age of 4 that you really can't trust anyone. It wasn't until 5th year, that things started to get personal.

The teacher he had was undoubtedly abusive. She blamed him for everyone else's mistakes, screamed at him like he was an animal and the discipline she gave him surely wasn't ethical. She also seemed to take satisfaction from humiliating him.

Will didn't realise it was abuse until years later. By that time he was getting horrific flashbacks from the situation. It wasn't just that singular teacher. It was others too, he vividly recalled being dragged to the front of the assembly hall, his arm almost popped out of a socket from the force of which he was dragged.

He remembered accidentally cursing one day (because he was allowed at home) The punishment he got from that, you wouldn't even give to a college student. He spent the next 5 months of the school year on a table on his own, facing the wall. Not allowed to turn around or speak to anyone.

After that, Will was put on a table with 3 other students. They were far from nice to him, seemingly helping the teacher in her vendetta against him. They made up things about him to get him in trouble, called him 'Weird child' and generally caused him more pain than a 10yr old should ever have to go through.

* * *

There was an annual trip for the 5th and 6th years. It was a few days out on an outdoor adventure course. Will was so excited to go! but nervous because he'd never spent time away from his parents before.

Upon arriving at the place, it looked amazing, but the experience itself was far from it. Staff and students bullied him the entire time, leaving him to cry himself to sleep at one point.

He shared a room with 10 other boys, who were all being noisy, keeping everyone awake. The teachers knew it was more than one person but decided to blame it all on Will anyway and take an hour off his scheduled bedtime the next night. So whilst everyone else was having fun, the teachers took way too much glee in telling everyone that he had to go to bed early because 'He couldn't behave' When in fact, Will had barely made any noise the previous night.

On that same night, there was a massive queue for the shower. Will didn't want a shower, because he didn't feel comfortable but the staff made him anyway! When he finally got in there, two boys banged on the door and demanded he get out of the shower immediately and clean his portion of their room. He couldn't ignore them as they kept shouting, so unwillingly he got dressed and headed back to the room with them.

Upon seeing his side of the room clean, he realised it was a setup.

After that, he never went on a school trip again.

* * *

By the age of 11, Will was depressed. He no longer tried to defend himself against this monster he called a teacher and just took whatever she threw at him. He was no longer in her group, but she still got to him.

He had a small group of friends in the 6th year. Until they decided to shut him out for no reason and make him apologise for something he hadn't done.

* * *

High school was totally different for Will, he stayed quiet in year 7, but in year 8 he lost it. He hated teachers by this point **_(Can you blame him?)_** — and wasn't afraid to disrespect them anymore. He got into numerous physical fights with other students, screamed at support staff and jumped over the fence multiple times in order to run home and escape what he described as hell.

Will hated lessons, he lacked the ability to sit still most of the time and he was struggling to concentrate as well as the other students. So, he usually got himself removed from lessons for playing up or didn't show up to them at all.

He got 42 detentions in 8th year, mostly for his language, attitude and his non-existent ability to wear a tie.

He ultimately got thrown out of high school, a week into 9th year. For hitting someone with a metal bin. Numerous younger students had crowded him in the locker area, against the wall and we're shouting at him. He just picked up the nearest thing he could find to defend himself and used it.

* * *

At the age of 15, he was sent to a school for emotionally unstable teenagers. It was something he'd never seen before in his life. People were allowed to smoke on the school grounds, there was no uniform and no timetabled lessons.

Compared to high school, the place was mad. People, obviously we're there for their issues to be solved. Some had severe anger issues and took it out on everyone. Whilst others we're totally chill and off their face on drugs!

Will made some good friends there and for the first time in his life, he trusted teachers! Everyone became like family to him in some way.

Obviously, there were a few 'Incidents' there with other students. For example, a very angry young lady pushed him to the ground and threatened to kill him. It took 10 members of staff to fully restrain her in the end. Will did laugh that off, saying he was more upset about his cigarette falling to the ground than the actual violence towards him.

* * *

Something happened at that school, that he would never forget. His first-ever kiss! Yes, 15 is a late age to have a first kiss, but Will had never met the right person or a person to wanted to come near him.

He was hanging out with a female student in the lounge, watching a movie. When she asked him _'When was your last kiss?'_ — He shyly replied _'I'll let you know, If It ever happens'_

She obviously took that the wrong way. Later on, she was determined to give the staff the slip and kiss him. Will was totally unaware of her plans.

_(There were no rules at that school apart from no physical contact. Sexual or otherwise, so that's why she wanted the staff out of the way)_

Will was relatively new at the school at that point, so was totally clueless of what people were like.

She made him follow her around a corner. After seeing nobody was around, she pinned him up against the wall and _(passionately)_ kissed him. It was definitely against his will, but he couldn't move to break away from her. He was frozen on the spot, not knowing what to do for at least 2 minutes. _(She had definitely taken advantage of his innocence)_

He finally did break away from her and walked briskly away, not bringing up the situation for 2yrs afterwards — and after the person in question had left the school.

* * *

In the present day, Will is often going to bars and using his job to win over the ladies. He barely goes a day without having sex. Whether it's with a nurse, a random woman in a bar or someone he's chatted up on the bus ride home.

He's never been in a relationship, he doesn't feel the need to. Ever since that day when he was 15, he's always needed to be in control of what's going on with his love life. He's always feared that a relationship will take all of the control away from him and he'll end up being forced to do things he doesn't want to do.

All of his friends are in relationships, or were in relationships — Married, divorced or with kids. They weren't still hitting the clubs and getting drunk.

Casual sex was great in Will's eyes, but he was beginning to get bored. The older he got, the more painful his hangovers became.

but no matter how many times he said he'd stop partying, he'd always end up in bed with a stranger and a with a huge hangover to boot.

* * *

**_Thanks for getting this far, let me know what you think or if you want more x_**


	4. No food for thought

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**_Again, Thank you for all the feedback! _**

* * *

Will had an unusual relationship with food. It was always hate and never love. When he was 11, he got horrific food poisoning from a restaurant. That put him on the path of becoming a **very** picky eater.

The thought of being that level of sick again scared him. For months afterwards, he carried a plastic bag and water everywhere with him. Refusing to eat any meat _(or food that looked strange)_ He smelled, checked and surveyed all of his food before he could even think about consuming it.

It wasn't an issue until his weight began dropping _(He wasn't overweight, to begin with)_ His stomach had definitely shrunk, making it impossible for him to eat large amounts of food.

This was a problem for Will because he was from a household of big eaters. They all used to pile their plates up with food at dinner time, whilst Will only had a few pieces of food on his plate. His brothers and father used to make fun of him, whilst trying to put more food on his plate. Thinking that they were being funny and clever.

His 'Mammy' was the only one who understood the issue. Whenever she saw him getting overwhelmed at the dinner table, she'd get him out of the situation discreetly. She was also the only one brave enough to tell his father to shut up.

* * *

By the age of 17, Will had dropped down to 46kg. The weight of a healthy 10-11yr old. His eating habits we're back to normal by then, apart from refusing to eat meat that wasn't chicken.

* * *

Will woke up one morning when he was 18 and vomited for no reason. This 'episode' started with him not being able to breathe properly. This naturally opened a can of worms for him.

After that, Will fought with the simple task of putting food in his mouth and chewing it. He'd always end up spitting it out. He began to struggle with eating in front of people, at the dinner table and in public. He was terrified of choking or throwing up.

_He felt sick all the time because he didn't eat and he then didn't eat because he felt sick. It was a vicious cycle_.

It got to a point where Will started to avoid combinations of food that he thought would make him sick.

Around the same time, Will started having almost hourly panic attacks. Of course, his attacks weren't normal. Rather than the tight chest and inability to breathe, they'd be frightening episodes of nausea. The biggest problem of all was, Will, panicked when he felt nauseous

* * *

Will's choking fear had come from an incident at school. He was eating a lettuce wrap when suddenly, he started choking on a hard piece of lettuce. He couldn't get it out of his throat and it was becoming harder to breathe. He frantically tapped the teacher sitting next to him, trying desperately to get his attention. Thankfully the teacher finally caught on and thumped Will on the back repeatedly with great force. The lettuce flew out of his mouth and onto the floor. It was a pretty big piece and if the teacher wasn't there it could have been so much worse

* * *

Years on and Will's diet is outrageous. He mostly eats carbs, rarely any vegetables and only once in a Blue Moon will he eat meat with his dinner. His favourite food is crisps, anything made from potato and Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire puddings.

He won't eat any meat that his 'Mammy' hasn't cooked, because he only trusts her not to poison him. The problem with that is, she lives in Dublin and can hardly put a cooked chicken in the post.

* * *

Will has been told frequently _(by archie)_ to get tested for anaemia. Because he's fainted on more than one occasion. He dismisses her, only because he hates having blood taken. He vividly remembers vomiting in the doctor's office _(on the nurse)_ the last time he had blood drawn!

The last time he passed out, was unfortunately in the ED. He stood up a little too fast and everything went black for him. Everyone watched him fall back, onto a metal trolley full of medical supplies. Not the quietest of things to faint on _(It got everyone's attention at least!)_

Jade started crying hysterically because she thought he was dead.

He did regain consciousness a few minutes later. Wondering why everyone was staring at him.

* * *

A big part of Will's diet is energy drinks. He's been addicted to them since the age of 14. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight the addiction or find any other drink to substitute them. He also had a naive and stupid idea that they made everything better health-wise.

Headache? Energy drink _(They do actually help migraines) _Stomach ache? Energy drink. Muscle or limb pain? You guessed it! Energy drink.

When the doctor told him that he needed vitamins, he read the label of a relentless can and got the wrong idea. They became his favourite energy drink because they weren't too sweet. _(He hated sweet things because of his sensitive teeth)_

After reading some Google pages on caffeine, Will put himself on a one energy drink a day limit. Refusing to go over it, for his heart's sake. _(Except if he was on nights)_

* * *

Working with children was rewarding, yet stressful for Will. The more stressed he got, **the more he smoked** and the more he smoked, **the less he'd eat** and the less he'd eat **the more tired he got** and the more tired he got, **the more high caffeine drinks he drank.**

He loved his job more than anything in his life _(apart from sex)_ — No matter how many times the children teased him, told him he smelled funny or ratted him out to his colleagues that he'd been snogging a nurse in the carpark.

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**Let me know what you think, If you want more or have any ideas for me! Thanks for reading x**


	5. The Cold Shoulder

**_Sorry, it's taken me so long to update, I was preparing for a job interview._**

**_(I didn't get it)_**

* * *

Will had a rough day. He'd lost 3 patients, one of them was a child. He was already struggling, but this was the icing on the cake for him.

He stormed out of resus, covered in blood. He threw the double doors open and they consequently hit the wall with a loud bang. A smear of blood was draped across his pale forehead.

'What are you all fucking looking at?' Will snapped at everyone around him. He didn't usually swear at work, but at that moment in time, he didn't care.

Will realised what he'd just done and ran off. Heading straight for the changing rooms.

* * *

He violently banged the door open and almost knocked Marty over barging past him. _'Watch the hair!'_ Marty shrieked, whilst looking in the mirror and smoothing his hair out.

Will slammed the cubicle door and bolted it. He turned the shower on and got under the water, without taking his bloodied scrubs off. He slumped down the wall and sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. He could see the water turning red before it spiralled down the drain.

He began to sob, putting his arms over his face. Hoping the whirring of Marty's hairdryer would block out the noise.

Will had never felt pain like this before, his chest was tight and his whole body ached. He had no physical energy left. He felt his eyes grow heavy and slumped sidewards, so he was now lying in the shower _(though because he was so tall it was more of a half fetal position)_ The water continued to pour over him as he lay there and cried like a scared little boy.

Marty turned the hairdryer off, he heard a faint sobbing noise coming from one of the cubicles. Realising Will was the only other person in the changing rooms, he went and knocked on the cubicle door.

'Will, I'm not breaking a nail forcing this door open! Are you ok?' said Marty

_'Will?'_ He said again but louder

Will could hear Marty but chose not to respond. He'd been in the shower for so long now that the hot water had gone off. He was getting cold but had no energy to try and move.

''I'm going to look under the door, you better not be naked'! He tried to joke

Marty unwillingly looked under the door, he saw somebody lying on the shower floor and began to panic. Running out of the room and shouting for assistance

His shouting attracted Archie's attention.

Marty was out of breath from shouting so just dragged her by the arm to where her friend was.

'Marty what are you doing?' she asked.

'Look, under, door' Marty panted, between puffs on his inhaler.

Archie reluctantly looked under the door. Upon seeing Will on the floor, she panicked. She got up and immediately started trying to force the door open. She rammed her shoulder into the door over and over again, hurting it in the process. The adrenaline of trying to get to her friend blocked out the pain.

It was no use. Ever since the shooting in 2017, all of the locks in the building had been reinforced. Including the ones on the toilet and shower cubicle doors.

Archie ran out of the room and found Jacob, a person who she knew could get that door down quickly. She explained what was going on and lead him to where everything was happening.

Without hesitation, Jacob broke open the door with his bare hands. Revealing a sombre sight in front of him. Archie pushed him out of the way and ran to Will's side. Turning off the water before vigorously shaking him.

'_Will, can you hear me?'_ she asked him.

Will didn't say anything, he just lay there with his eyes open, occasionally blinking.

'He's freezing!' Archie said to Jacob with a worried tone in her voice.

* * *

Jacob had since carried Will out of the shower and put him down on a trolley. Nobody knew why he was lying on the floor, had he collapsed?

Everyone was rallying around, trying to warm him up. They tried to take his wet scrubs off, but he kicked off when they tried. He was so cold it was beginning to cause him some confusion.

'Don't touch me!' he screamed when a nurse tried to help him.

* * *

_This was going to be a long night for the staff..._

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**More soon x**


	6. Reveal

Will finally agreed to have his wet clothes removed. It was a 3hr battle just to get him to communicate with anyone. He felt very uncomfortable when the nurse tried to undress him, so he demanded to do it himself.

He'd been given his non-work clothes from his locker to change into. His hands were too cold and shaky to button up his shirt. He just about managed a few buttons so he would be decent for his next plan of action. He picked up his wallet and phone before checking if anyone was around. He made sure the coast was clear before slipping out of the ED.

He didn't want to explain to anyone about what had happened, so this was the easiest option for him.

Will made his way into the pub and ordered a round of shots. _'This should help'_ he thought stupidly to himself, before going and sitting next to a woman who was eying him up across the bar.

* * *

Archie went to check on Will and got a shock when he wasn't there. She wasn't at all surprised that he'd done a runner. It was his go-to response when things got tough. The only place she could think of that he'd be was, the local pub because his other go-to response was getting blackout drunk in the arms of unsuitable women.

* * *

By now, Will had downed at least 10 shots of tequila. He felt happier and more at ease now that he had some alcohol in his system. He used his usual pick up line on the woman sat almost on his lap. She ate it up, clearly wanting more. They both drank excessive amounts and did shots until they were completely wasted.

The last thing Will could remember was staggering into a dark alley, having intense sex with the woman from the bar and cutting his leg on some broken glass after stumbling over.

He'd left his jacket with his phone in the pocket at the pub. Luckily his NHS ID was in the inner pocket. The sole reason why he'd taken his wallet with him, was because there was a condom in there. His sex logic never failed, even when drunk.

* * *

Morning came around, and Archie hadn't slept thinking about where Will had gone. He hadn't returned to their shared flat and his phone went straight to voicemail everytime she tried to call him.

Luckily for her, the bar manager arrived at the ED reception with Will's blazer jacket. She was talking to a patient at the desk and instantly recognised it. Dropping everything to go and question the man holding it.

'_Can I help you_?' Archie said politely

'Found this in my pub last night, I believe it belongs to one of your staff members!' he replied, giving her the jacket _(and a smile)_ before turning to walk away.

Archie immediately stopped him from leaving _'Where did the guy wearing this go?'_ She asked him with a worried look on her face

_'He was wasted with a woman, I made them both leave before they drank my bar dry, Vodka is expensive stuff you know!'_ The bar owner shrugged. This time he did walk away. Leaving Archie with her own thoughts.

As if on queue, Will appeared in the same clothes he was wearing the day before. His white shirt was undone, had dirt patches all over it and red lipstick on the collar. His trouser leg was torn where he'd cut his leg on glass and he had a large 'bruise' in the crook of his neck.

He was so hungover that it was making him delirious. Not to mention the overwhelming smell of alcohol and cheap perfume coming from him was enough to suffocate anyone who stood within a mile of him.

'What the actual fuck!' Archie shouted at the young man stood in front of her 'Will, you stink! and what on earth has happened to your leg!' she said, after seeing the tear in his trousers and the dry blood surrounding it.

Will shrugged in response.

Archie had seen enough over the past few days and knew an intervention was needed. She dragged him by the arm into the changing rooms and threw him a pair of his usual navy scrubs. 'Put those on, then we will talk' she said bossily

Will had no energy to argue with her, so did as he was told. Once dressed, she decided to attack his face with a damp cloth, wiping off the dirt and lipstick marks from his jawline.

Her shade of concealer was way too dark for his fair skin. So she reluctantly asked Jade for her's _(despite hating her guts)_ She used a makeup sponge to cover up the 'bruise' on his neck. It was such a deep shade of purple that it took 4 layers of concealer to cover it up fully.

Archie finally cleaned up the cut on his leg before dressing it with a big plaster. After she'd finished. She crouched down in front of him. 'Talk to me, Will! she said softly.

_'I can't do this anymore...'_ Will whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. His tired eyes welling up.

Archie didn't know what to say, so she hugged him tight. Feeling emotional herself as her friend sobbed uncontrollably into her shoulder...


	7. You've got a friend in me

**_More back story coming up, this time it's on the friendship between Archie and Will. — Personally I love how they've become close friends in the show. Some good character development between them there! xx_**

* * *

It had been a few days since Will's 'breakdown' and he was (somewhat) back to his normal self. He had been Partying, sleeping with strangers and staying out until the early hours.

He still had a lot on his mind and he thought drinking would make it all go away. The truth was, nothing in his head ever went away. It would just come back alongside a painful hangover the next morning.

* * *

Will had never been one to confront his problems head-on, he always had to run away.

When his Grandad died, he didn't grieve as any normal person would. He went to Cambodia for 3 months! — When his father caught him smoking, he ran away and lived rough, just to avoid being confronted and when his parents got divorced, he moved out completely.

He had his '3 step problem-solving plan' it always worked and it had done since he hit puberty.

_'Get drunk, Have sex, Move on'_

* * *

When Will first started in the ED, he got Toby as his first case. It was the first time he'd ever cared about a patient enough to stay on after his initial locum period.

Before that, he always said _'Here today, gone tomorrow' — _Which was true, before Holby he hadn't had a permanent hospital job since becoming a registrar. (Almost 6yrs prior!)

Will was definitely spurred on by Archie's harsh words to go for a permanent role. She had commented on how he was running away, which he was doing.

Out of pure hatred for the bitch who had just had a go at him and his need to please. He turned back on his heels and headed straight for Connie's office. More sure about that job than anything.

When he sat in Connie's office filling out the application form for the consultant job, he felt more nervous than he had done in his exam. It was a huge commitment, something that he wasn't good at.

He didn't think he'd get the job but was surprised when he did. The look on Archie's face when he got it and she didn't was priceless for him.

The other reason why he did it was for Toby, who had asked him to stay.

It devastated Will when he died, it was the first time he'd ever become emotionally attached to a patient. He did eventually get over the pain, by getting under Toby's Mum.

* * *

2 months into his Holby adventure, Will moved in with Archie. A person who he thought would never be friends with him. She gave him the spare room in her apartment, to save him from living out of his car. He was living out of his car because he hadn't originally planned to stay in Holby for long.

Will hadn't had a permanent place of residence since living with his parents when he was 18. He'd always travelled. He didn't have many possessions, only clothes, a toothbrush, hairspray and his bedding.

It was a big lifestyle change. Going home to the same house at the end of every day. At first, it was a hard adjustment. Especially for Archie. She'd never had a roommate before or lived with a male.

Will was excited about being able to sleep in a bed and not on the back seat of his car. He bought himself a bed, but broke it within 2 days and now sleeps on two stacked, double mattresses on the floor.

His room acquired more furniture as the months went on. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't the tidiest person ever and his room was often a mess.

* * *

Archie hadn't learned about what type of person Will was until they started living together. On their first night as roommates, she was kept awake for hours. By the constant sound of bedsprings or the bed itself slamming against her bedroom wall.

She shortly learned that Will was a womaniser. If it wasn't the racket he made until the early hours, it was bra's left on the sofa and if it wasn't that it'd be random women hogging her bathroom when she was already late for work.

There was one benefit of living with a man. Archie was not at all feminine, right down to her dress sense. So she enjoyed sneaking into Will's room and stealing his clothes. If he was asleep when she needed an item of clothing, she challenged herself to sneak in and out of his room without waking him up. The sounds of her movements we're always drowned out by his snoring.

* * *

A few months went on and the pair finally got used to being roommates. They celebrated both of their first Christmases in Holby with a Tesco out-of-the-bag chicken and several cans of lager each, in front of the TV. They did have a Christmas tree until Archie got annoyed with the deliberate messy decorating and set it on fire.

They'd gotten used to each other's many flaws and had become good friends. A massive difference in how they were with one another when they first met.

Will now thought of Archie as a little sister. Someone who he could wind up all day long but still care for deeply. Since the stabbing, he had also become very protective of her. Especially around Connie.

He sat with her the entire time she was in the hospital. Refusing to leave her on her own. At one point everyone was certain Archie was going to die because she kept crashing. For the first time in his life, Will didn't run away. He held her hand until he knew she going to be ok.

Will had never ever said a prayer in his life but did that day and it worked. He was back to winding Archie up within 4 days, asking if she had any food in her hospital room whilst reading Vogue.

* * *

After Mason's unfortunate death, Archie was definitely depressed. She treated that man as a little brother and was one of the only staff members who bothered with him.

She had ripped up her proposal on the day of his death, thinking it was stupid before letting her guard down and hugging Will in tears.

Will later got her proposal out of the bin _(when he knew she wasn't around)_ and taped it back together. He put it on Dylan's desk. He never told her what he did, but she was so happy when Dylan loved her paper.

All the pain in Will's life seemed to heal itself, upon seeing her reaction to his good deed. Seeing her smile was so worth sticking his hand in a bin and getting tape stuck to his arm hair _(or so he told himself) _


	8. Womaniser

**_More back story, because I enjoy writing _****_them._**

**_(Note: I wrote 1k words a few days ago and the whole thing deleted itself. So, I'm sorry for the delay) _**

* * *

Will has always been a womaniser. Ever since he was 4 and giving girls Haribo sweets on the playground. He always knew what to say to win people over. No matter how uptight they were.

Sometimes, he'd only have to give one look to a woman and they'd be taken in by his charm.

Obviously, his womanising traits got him into trouble from time to time. Whether it was getting caught in bed with someone's wife or getting arrested for having sex in his car.

Despite all of the trouble Will had been in over the years, it never phased him and he carried on with his promiscuous ways like nothing bad ever happened.

His first instance of trouble was when he was 14. He used to climb over his neighbour's fence and make out with their daughter behind the shed. It was a fun little ritual every now and again until they were caught by her heavily religious father.

He still has nightmares about being dragged by the collar and thrown back into his own house. Her Dad screaming at his and all of his younger siblings screaming in fear.

* * *

In university, Will _(unwillingly)_ shared a room with Ethan and Arthur Digby. The two biggest nerds there. He refused to be seen with them and hung out with mostly women

Back then, _(2005)_ Will looked quite edgy. He had a beard, long hair, and a nose ring. He always wore a leather jacket, graphic t-shirts, jeans and Doc Martins. The women in his classes loved how he dressed and often complimented him on it

Anyway, sharing a room with nerds had its fair share of problems. There was one bunk bed and one normal bed. Ethan was terrified of any heights so refused to sleep on the top and Arthur was severely claustrophobic so had to sleep in an open space. Which left Will with the top bunk.

This made bringing women back to the room a problem. Will was never shy about having sex in the same room as his roommates, but doing it on the top of a very flimsy bunk bed made him nervous. Especially with his friend asleep underneath.

One night Will came back very drunk with a woman he'd met in an earlier class. Neither of them cared about about the other two men in the room and proceeded to fool around on his bed. The bed obviously wasn't strong enough to hold two people anymore and broke. Will and his friend managed to jump clear, but the frame still landed on top of Ethan, breaking his arm and a few ribs.

Telling the series of events to paramedics and the doctors in A and E proved to be an embarrassing ordeal.

* * *

In his last year of university, Will met Caleb Knight. They instantly hit it off and became best friends. People used to think they were brothers because they were so alike. They used to crash parties together, wind up each other's siblings and play pranks on other students.

Both lads travelled around a bit together after university graduation. They went to America, Cambodia and China. Never forgetting to hit the bars in every town the went to.

It wasn't until Caleb decided to stay in LA and Will went back to Dublin that they lost touch.

The pair did meet again several times during their locum years but never had the time to tear up the town like they used to.

The last time they saw each other was Charlie's stag. Will had been drinking in one of the bars they went to in Barry. He and Cal talked for a while like they'd never been apart.

Will was devastated when he heard Cal had died. It felt like he too had lost a brother. He was equally saddened by not being able to attend his funeral, due to his consultant exams.

* * *

**_Sorry its short, but I felt like you guys needed an update. I've got writers block at the moment so ideas are welcomed. _**


	9. A painful goodbye

Will was devastated when Duffy passed away. When they informed him of her death, he became speechless for the first time in his life. Which was a rare occasion - He could be a right loudmouth at times!

He'd always had a soft spot for her. She treated him better than his own 'Mammy' did. Saying goodbye to the woman who had taught him so much and never wanted anything but a hug in return was the toughest medicine to swallow.

Will watched everyone around him crumble with sadness, guilt and grief. He felt guilty for not knowing how to help them through it. He was the one who usually made them all laugh when they were down, but not this time.

Watching people put flowers outside the ED made the whole situation very real for him. He took some time out to read the notes and cards people left. Stopping when he got too emotional and felt the need to hide in the car.

He couldn't show anyone how upset he was. He had to be the strong one! He had to be there for everyone else. Will knew the pain he felt, wasn't going to go away with a cheap bottle of vodka and sex with a stranger like it always did. He had to face it this time. Running away wasn't an option.

* * *

Archie noticed how Will had been drinking less since Duffy's death. Whenever she asked him if he was ok, she'd get a shrug in response, because he honestly didn't know how he felt.

* * *

Being asked to carry Duffy's coffin was an honour to Will. He felt privileged to be carrying this extraordinary woman on her final journey. He was of course nervous. He'd never carried a coffin before. He was frightened of dropping it, as it was apparently quite heavy.

He had a smoke outside the church before the funeral began. Much to everyone around him's objection. It was the only way he could calm his nerves without alcohol. Noel was the only one who seemed to understand and kindly inspected his suit for stray ash.

Will hadn't worn a suit and tie for years. It felt strange dressing so smart. He was fearful about dropping anything down his white shirt or clean suit jacket. Thankfully his caution paid off and he remained smart-looking until the wake.

His main worry was letting Duffy down. All the possible ways he could do that weighed on his mind for days before the funeral. He had nobody to talk to about his worries, he didn't want to burden anyone whilst they were grieving.

On seeing the hearse arrive, reality kicked in for everyone. The crowd of people outside fell silent. Before going to assume a position ready to pick up the coffin, Will gave Charlie a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Most got through the funeral without crying, which was a difficult task. Particularly when Charlie put her pocket watch on the coffin.

* * *

The day before the funeral, Will found the baby doll that he and Duffy gave to a dementia patient, Elsie. It had been returned from the care home after she died.

He looked at it for a while, thinking back to how funny Duffy found it when she made him carry the doll through the ED with a pink blanket on his shoulder.

Holding the doll with one hand in front of him, he smiled through tearful eyes.

He's never told anyone this, but he secretly took the doll home and put it on his collectables shelf. Among several Funko Pop figures. All 5 Fraggle Rock characters and Snoopy, currently guard the doll with their lives.

* * *


	10. Family ties

**_Sorry I've been neglecting this fic. I can't say I've been busy, I've recently dropped out of college and needed time to adjust._**

* * *

Will had been dreading his sister's wedding since the moment she got engaged. The man she'd chosen to marry infuriated him. To the point where being in the same room as him wasn't an option anymore. His name was Adam and he was everything, Will wasn't.

His parents and siblings seemed to prefer Adam. They were always hanging out with him and taking him out places and leaving Will out.

When Will did join his family for dinner, he felt uncomfortable. Adam was loud and never stopped talking, mainly about his job and his life. Never about anything but himself or his fiancee. Will always made excuses to leave early. Once, he said he was going for a smoke and never returned.

Then there was the issue with his nephew and niece. He loved them more than anything else in his life but with Adam around he never gets so much as a look in.

Whenever he was alone playing with them nicely, Adam would always have to appear and take over immediately. Leaving Will out, yet again.

Adam didn't even have to be around anymore for this to happen. When Will face-timed the kids, all they'd ask for Adam. Making him feel like a piece of unwanted shit.

This broke Will's heart, sometimes he'd hang up the phone and break down crying because the two people he loved more than anyone or anything else, didn't love him back.

* * *

It was the day of the wedding and Will was getting ready by himself. His parents and other siblings were too busy rushing around after the bride and groom. He was the only one in his family not in the bridal party.

Whilst getting dressed, he took a moment to glance at his childhood bedroom. The posters and the holes he'd punched in the walls had all gone. It had been repainted, recarpeted and refurnished. It was like his parents had erased all traces of him from their lives and moved on.

When they found out Will was staying in the UK, they stripped his room and shipped all of his stuff to him. Everything apart from his motorbike. They kept it, but Will did plan on taking it back with him. Mainly to stop them from selling it out of spite or God forbid giving it to their favourite person Adam!

After getting dressed, Will decided to go into the garage to see his 'baby' - He excitedly pulled back the cover, revealing his pride and joy! He'd saved his own money from his first job to buy that bike and further money to get it customed.

He decided to travel to the wedding on it. Starting the engine up again, erased all the pain he felt about the day ahead. Sadly it all came back but, it was worth it.

* * *

Will's parents were horrified when they saw him arrive at the church on the bike. They were equally worried about the mess he could have made of his suit!

* * *

The wedding itself was boring, Will was more excited about the after-party and the free bar. Everyone was throwing confetti outside the church, applauding the newlyweds. Whilst Will leaned against the wall and smoked a cigarette, flicking the ash at Adam. Promptly earning a smack around the head from his mother.

After sitting alone at dinner, watching all his siblings and his parents on the top table having fun. Will didn't feel in the mood to party anymore. He sipped the vile wine that he'd been given and kept shooting dirty looks at his new brother in law.

Will found his Aunt Diana at another table. He loved his Auntie because she understood him and agreed that Adam was a pompous, arrogant, twat!

He was also her favourite out of all her nephews and nieces. Which made him feel loved for once in his life. They sat for hours, bitching and having a laugh. Only moving to go out and smoke together.

* * *

It had just gone 11 pm and people were slowly vacating the party venue. The bride and groom had left for their honeymoon an hour prior.

It soon got down to only Will and his aunt left. He looked around the room. At the half-eaten cake, the confetti all over the floor and glasses everywhere. 'Holding back the years' by simply red was playing in the background.

'Why didn't you ever get married, Will?' His Aunt slurred slightly.

'Never found the right one...' He replied, lying. He'd actually never looked for the right one.

At that moment, his aunt gave him a hug and left. Leaving just Will in the room by himself.

He thought how he'd always looked after his siblings, cared for them and made sure they were safe but they never once returned the favour.

Will felt truly alone. Deep down he knew he'd never have a big wedding like the one that had just been and gone or a wedding at all.

He decided to catch the ferry home that same night and head back to Holby with his motorbike. As soon as he arrived, he felt at home again. He even got a warm welcome in the pub from his friends.

The truth was, Will loved his Holby family more than he loved his biological one. Everyone was supportive, loving and caring when he needed it and never left him out. These were people who he connected with and we're like his siblings.

They'd never once made him feel bad about himself or put him down. They only built him up for better things. He had finally found a place where he fit in, felt comfortable and didn't feel the need to run away from.

Whether it was rib crushing strength hugs from Jan or lessons on how to do Tik Tok's from Marty and Jade. He always felt wanted.

He even had a little brother figure to wind up!

* * *

Will and Ethan had grown really close over the last 6 months. They'd become more than best friends. Will had become a big brother to Ethan. He filled the gap that his brother left behind. It's only a bonus that Will is basically an Irish version of Cal.

Will felt obliged to look after Ethan. He made a promise to Cal's grave that he would.

They truly became close after the terrorist attack. Will helped Ethan overcome the worst of his PTSD. Seeing his usually strong friend, crumble into a sobbing mess under the desk when a firework was heard, broke his heart.

He made Ethan laugh unintentionally by trying to fit under the desk with him and instead, hitting his head on the desk due to being too tall.

Neither of them were good with words but knew how to make the other one feel better in a time of crisis.


	11. Fireworks

**I hope you are all safe and well, during this chaotic and uncertain time!**

**Wash your hands you detty pigs!**

* * *

**_(This chapter is for Luc!)_**

* * *

From the moment Fenisha walked through the door, the attraction was instant. Will stared at her for so long in awe that he wasn't paying any attention to his patient. Who consequently threw up on him. But he still continued to stare at her, completely taken in.

Their first shift together was chaos, but the flirting still continued. Fenisha was just as taken in by Will as he was taken in by her. Sparks were definitely flying all over the place and they weren't the only ones who noticed.

Robyn had noticed how Will's attitude changed whenever Fenisha reappeared. He was always loud and obnoxiously charming when he flirted with women, but with her he was soft spoken and chose his words a little more carefully.

Whilst treating Fenisha in cubicles, the tension was strong. They both felt oddly comfortable with each other, even though they'd only known eachother for a few hours.

Smitten definitely was an understatement for both parties.

* * *

Will agreed to meet Fenisha in the local pub. They were both excited to see each other in a non professional way. Even though they'd spent the day flirting rather unprofessionally.

Will was rolling a cigarette outside when Fenisha tapped him on the shoulder. It made him jump and drop his filter tin. Clattering as it hit the ground. He gave her a playful look of annoyance, which made her laugh. She kindly helped him pick up the filters he'd dropped before they went inside.

They found a small table in the corner. Mainly so they could hide from Ethan if he happened to show up.

* * *

Soon tequilas were being necked and the pair were giggling like school children. The sexual tension in the air grew thicker as each alcoholic beverage went down. They were shifting closer to one another until Will tipsily got up and announced that he needed a cigarette. He invited Fenisha to join him and she did. Getting her coat and stumbling out the door behind the man she was fond of.

It was dark outside, the lamps on the wall of the pub lit the area but only by a fraction. They seemed to light the mood.

Somehow Will managed to roll a smokeable cigarette. Fenisha sat on the bench next to him, shivering slightly in the cold air. Will noticed this and gave her his jacket, putting it around her shoulders gently.

'You are so lovely!' Fenisha slurred, making Will smile.

'You aren't so bad yourself!' Will tried to joke to ease the tension, but nothing could shift it.

Will went to light his cigarette and found it being taken out of his mouth and replaced with a tender kiss instead. The sparks had now turned into full on fireworks and no one was complaining.

* * *

The next morning Fenisha opened her eyes and momentarily panicked when she realised she wasn't in her own room. She looked around and saw clothes all over the floor, before averting her eyes to the man peacefully sleeping next to her. Suddenly her hangover then caught up with her and she winced in pain.

Fenisha smiled at Will sleeping soundly next to her. She watched him sleep for a while before shaking him gently, knowing he'd have a hangover as well.

Will opened his eyes and looked straight at the woman next to him. He smiled at her before realising he also had a hangover.

'How much did we drink last night?' He asked quietly.

'Too much!' Fenisha replied.

They both giggled softly before lying back down, tangling themselves up in one another.

Will had never felt this way about anyone before and neither had Fenisha. Could this be the start of something great?


	12. Falling apart

**Hi, Sorry I've been away for a bit. I just ran out of ideas for this fic. But I have a few now, so I'm back. I hope you're all keeping safe! — _(I also got a new phone and lost all of my old documents, so bare with me)_**

**— Life and soul, chapter 12. **

Will had been with Fenisha for just over a month before they broke up. He had never been in a relationship before then or felt that way about another person before. It was the best time of his life, he had never been happier. Hence why the breakup hit him harder than he'd expected.

2 hours after, Will lay on the pavement drunk. He had fallen over and couldn't be bothered to get back up. His ears were ringing and his vision was blurred, but he still tried to look at the stars in the sky. A vodka bottle was at his side, just out of reach of his outstretched hand.

Someone from one of the houses nearby called an ambulance, thinking he was dead. Will heard the sirens and decided to get up and move on. Not wanting to face any paramedics or anyone in general.

By the time he had stood up, they had arrived. He tried to flee from them but ended up falling back over and scraping his face on the concrete.

He gave in and sat up, before taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand. Blood dripped from his chin and nose, landing on his blue jeans. He sat on the curb and put his head in his hands, wanting to hide from the world. _Was this rock bottom?_

Lev was one of the paramedics called out. At first, he didn't recognise Will. _'Mate, are you okay?'_ He said, bending down to the younger man's level and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Will looked up from his hands, exposing his bloody and tear-stained face. _'Grand'_ he slurred sarcastically, before taking another drink out of the vodka bottle.

Lev was taken aback at the identity of the man in front of him. He instantly took the bottle from his hand and set it down, out of reach. Will didn't like this at all. _'Give it back!'_ He said, raising his voice.

_'You've had enough! Now let's get you seen to!'_ Lev responded, trying to stay calm. Will stood up and attempted to walk away. Lev caught him and insisted that he go to the hospital for treatment.

_'No'_ Will said, like a stubborn toddler who wasn't getting his way.

_'You are very drunk, covered in blood and very disoriented! I am not leaving you alone to wander the streets!'_ \- Lev snapped, before grabbing Will by the arm and shoving him into the ambulance.

_'Get off me!''_ Will screamed, his accent getting thicker. _'It's this or a police charge for drunk and disorderly buddy, your choice'_ Lev threatened

Will stayed quiet for the ambulance journey. He really wanted to escape somehow. He knew his colleagues would be all over him and asking questions. Which was the last thing he wanted _(or needed)_

He could see himself in the adjacent window. He didn't look like himself at all. His hair was ragged, his clothing was filthy and his face was bloody. His eyes were red and felt heavy.

He put his head in his hands once more and hoped this was all a nightmare. Wishing his newfound pain wasn't real. He remained that way until he heard the ambulance doors open. He could hear familiar voices and immediately wanted to disappear.

Will stood up and left the ambulance, pushing past all of the doctors and nurses who had come outside. He stumbled off into the night, rejecting treatment. He had to maintain the little bit of pride he had left.

Ethan caught up with him and offered him a lift home. He had no energy left to refuse the offer or walk home. So he nodded in response.

It was a long ride home. Will sobbed his eyes out for most of it. His speech was slurred, so his words weren't clear. Ethan felt sorry for him and knew how he felt. A year ago, he went through the same thing. Sat in Charlie's car, in a drunken state. Sobbing about Alicia.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY:**

* * *

Will opened his eyes gradually. The wooden flooring beneath him was cold and hard. He could smell alcohol, inducing him to remember the events from the night before. He unpeeled his cheek from the floor before pulling himself up into a sitting position. Clutching his head, wincing in pain.

* * *

Will eventually roamed into work, an hour late. Wearing sunglasses and yesterday's clothing. The cut on his chin stung as it caught the air.

_'Dr Noble, You're late!'_ A familiar voice hissed. It was Connie. _'Sorry'_ Will mumbled in response.

Connie bit her tongue for once, choosing to ignore the aroma of stale alcohol coming from her colleague's direction. _'Just, don't do it again'_ she said, rushing the sentence so she could get away from him and the overwhelming smell.

Will went and got changed, looking in the mirror as he did so. What had happened to him? Just a few days ago, he was making plans with his girlfriend. Now he was single, broken and relying on alcohol to make himself feel better.

_He was falling apart..._


End file.
